I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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