Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
