She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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