Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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