How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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