none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bet he comes in French.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
