i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
