Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
