she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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