He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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