Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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