Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
