2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
