My sheets look like a crime scene.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
