Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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