my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
