I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
