from now on my penis is your penis
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
