Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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