it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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