Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
