I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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