I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
