If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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