Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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