At least make sure they are 18
Why
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
