so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
