yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
