You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
