Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
