I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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