i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
