Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
