Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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