I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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