What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
