should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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