So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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