i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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