Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
