Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
