k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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