He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he puts the penis in happiness.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
