So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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