Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Terrible idea I love it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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