No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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