why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
