my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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