you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
