Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
