I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
