He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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