If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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