hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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