with your own penis?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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