Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
