if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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