Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize