Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
