It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
